Giving in Kind(ness)

by Lalita Rao

There is an oft-quoted incident where Swami, in an interview, questioned a lady devotee on the type of rice that she gives away in charity. The lady had started narrating to Swami how she puts aside a fistful of rice every day to give away to people looking for food. Is the rice that you give away of the same variety/quality as the one consumed at your home?* Swami wanted to know. Yes Swami, the lady apparently replied and, maintained her answer even after repeated questioning. Foolish. To insist on anything with the Avatar. Even more foolish to think that one can get away with it. Swami, the story goes, walked into the inside room and brought out a little bundle in a red cloth and, feigning anger, thrust it towards the lady – Is this not the rice that you gave away?* The rice was of an inferior quality and full of stones. The same little cloth bundle. Definitely one of those chulloo bhar paani mein doobna moments! – If there was a puddle of water in the interview room, surely the lady would want to disappear into it. [*written from memory of the story I read – not a verbatim or verified quote].

As I researched the different type of receipts a Charitable Trust has to track, record and report, one of the categories I came across was ‘in kind’ receipts of items that we had to track. This set off a long chain of thoughts that finally rested on the above incident.

Cute as the story is in demonstrating Swami’s omnipresence, it is not so cute when we think of the lady’s discomfiture. It is even less so when we delve into our own memory and check if we ever did anything like this – in however small a magnitude. When I give away clothes, do I give away only those that I have discarded because of wear and tear? Is my intent only to clear my closet during spring cleaning? Or, do I give away clothes that are in fairly good condition, that are still good enough for me to wear? Do I ensure that the clothes I give away are neatly washed and pressed? Or, do they look like they can only be used as dusters or mop clothes? Even better, would I take out from my closet something that I really like and give it away to someone?  How about that expensive silk saree that I have worn only once in the last ten years? Would I give it to someone that probably couldn’t afford such a saree, and would definitely appreciate it and use it more than I do?

I am reminded of another story: Swami brought out two expensive and richly brocaded silk sarees and presented them to a gardener/service worker at the Brindavan Campus. The worker’s daughter was getting married and so, Swami asked him to take the two sarees home and have the ladies choose one of them for the bride. One of Swami’s aides (I forget who it was – maybe Shri Ramabrahmam garu) whispered to Swami that, maybe the sarees were a little too rich and expensive for the family in question. Well meaning I am sure, that the sarees should be something that the family would be comfortable with. Swami’s response, however, was precious. When would the family ever be able to afford and enjoy such a saree? It was a happy occasion, and Swami wanted the bride to enjoy wearing such an expensive and lovely saree that the family otherwise couldn’t afford. Such loving kindness and compassion! And, no judgement on their social or economic status, or whether they ‘deserved’ such a saree.  Surely, they deserved to be happy and joyous? And that is all Swami cared about.

I remember an incident from an SSE (Sai Spiritual Education) class at our Center. Every Christmas or thereabouts, the Boston Center does a toy drive – we ask children and their families to bring one toy and put it in a box at the Center. The toys are distributed in the community as Christmas gifts to children in needy families.  We usually ask them to bring a new, unopened toy. Sometimes, we say that if a toy is clean and in a good and working condition (no missing and broken parts), it can be deposited in the box even if it is a used one. If not at Christmas, the used toys can be given away at another time. When I announced the initiative in the class, the younger children were very excited. Certainly they would bring a toy and deposit it in the box, they chorused. Of course, all of them had plenty of toys, and giving one away was not an issue. I decided to push the envelope one little bit more! Would you bring a toy that you still love and play with? A favorite toy maybe? Would you share the joy of this wonderful toy with another child?  Not a broken toy, or a discarded toy, or a toy that you want to get rid of, to make place for a new one. A toy that you still love and want. Silence. They all looked at each other, and at me. Little pairs of unblinking eyes. Had I grown two heads? Slowly, one child piped up, ‘yes, I can bring one toy that I still like’. All of them nodded, with varying degrees of certainty. Still thinking….doubtful….but thinking. I forget the outcome; I am sure some of them did bring toys that they loved and still wanted to play with. The thought had been shared and registered – Giving in Kind means Giving in Kindness; sharing a toy (or any other item) that you love means sharing Love itself.

(Lalita Rao studied, worked and lived in Boston, USA for more than two decades. After moving back to Bangalore two years ago, she has been working at the Public Affairs Foundation, Bangalore. While in Boston, she served as a youth adviser for the Northeast Region (Region 1) of the USA Sathya Sai Organization, and was a Sai Spiritual Education (SSE) teacher and coordinator at the Boston Sai Center for many years. Currently, she is also closely associated with the development of the Sharavathi Kannada Higher Primary School in Hosadoddi village. She lends her enthusiasm, professionalism, time management and sincerity to every activity she takes up.)