Nectarine Love Divine

Arun Krishnamurthy

“To Know God is to Love God”, I was taught when I was a child. For a very long time the meaning of this seemingly simple yet very profound statement kept eluding me.

Perhaps just to discover the inner meaning of this statement I was given the wondrous opportunity to study in Swami’s institution. I joined the MBA course in Prasanthi Nilayam in the year 2005. The first grace of Swami was shown to us when after a hiatus of few years he called upon the new joining MBA students to Brindavan, Whitefield. It made the feeling absolutely special for us new comers. I was totally overawed by the occasion and i saw other  students were touching Swami’s feet, holding hands and Swami was responding to all of them with such sweet smiles and talking to a few of the students. I mustered just enough courage to go and touch Swami’s hands with my two fingers and then waited to see if there was any reaction. Swami just smiled.

After a month or so Swami came down to Puttaparthi and i wrote a letter. Actually one can call that letter a laundry list of desires and demands. But somehow the opportunity seemed to elude me, and i was getting desperate. After few months of waiting i could finally give the letter to Swami. A sense of relief ensued.

Time passed fast in Puttaparthi, It always does when one is with Swami. I would say i unlearnt and learnt a lot in Puttaparthi from teachers and friends. It was an experience which opened me to a whole new inner world.

An incident occurred during Athi Rudra Mahayagnam in Parthi which was pretty special for me. I was part of the vedam group and so was sitting in the front chanting Rudram along with the entire congregation. A separate place was allocated to Vedam students right in front of Swami. It was quite a momentous occasion for me personally because i was always fascinated by the intonations in Rudram-Chamakam and chanting right in front of Swami made it even more special.

A few days during the yagnam passed like this. One day i was back at the hostel after the evening program in the mandir. One student brother approached me and said that the next day was my “Rose” chance. “Rose” chance is a great opportunity for a wonderful close interaction with Swami whereby the student offers a “Rose” to Swami and can have Darshan, Sparshan and Sambhashan.

So it was my chance for the Rose offering next day, and my parents were also present during the occasion and it made the event all the more special. So i was looking forward to it with all eagerness.

The next day, I wore a brand new pair of whites and was waiting inside the bhajan mandir. Since the Athi Rudra Mahayagnam was going on, i was told to offer the rose while Swami was getting into his car and returning back to the residence. (Those days Swami used to arrive to the Sai Kulwant hall in a car).

There were many TV sets provided at various places in the hall for a better view of the proceedings and i was having darshan from one such TV set placed in the verandah. And then suddenly i noticed that Swami was calling for the vedam boys who were sitting and chanting Rudram. He was distributing watches to them and then i suddenly realized that i would not get the same. If not for the Rose chance i would be sitting and receiving the same from Swami.

Tormented by this fact, my mind was tossed to all sides and then the battle began inside which i might term mightier than the Kurukshetra war. One part of the mind was hissing with thoughts of jealousy and the missed opportunity and there was ample amount of boxing Swami in my mind. And simultaneously another angelic voice was guiding my mind to calmness.

All the positive proverbs were reinforced viz. “Whatever happens, happens for good” seemed effeminate against the torment of my mind.

To distract myself, i started chanting the Gayatri Mantra and this went on for quite some time. My mind surprisingly got little calmer and after some time i was given an indication by a student brother that Swami was about to leave.

This was a signal for me to go ahead and offer the Rose to Swami. What happened hereafter was a defining moment for me.

Swami came walking down on the verandah helped by two students and i knelt down. He gave me one of the sweetest smiles I had ever seen. He took my rose and patted me on my head and cheeks. He looked deep in my eyes. I was deeply touched. I felt wave after wave of inexplicable bliss. I felt such an upheaval of divine love that nothing else mattered. The disappointment, hollowness, sense of incompleteness - everything just vanished. At that point I understood the power of love, its healing power and its grandeur. It was simple,pure and full. Words fail to describe the experience and the feeling.

That night i realized that what i was asking Swami was all trinkets when he actually wanted to give such divine bliss. The letter with the demands seemed now so trivial to me that i felt ashamed. In one stroke, Swami had changed my perception.

Time passed and on the last day of my MBA course, I was sitting in Sai Kulwant Hall, it was holiday time so very few students were present, and Swami suddenly started distribution. I went with a letter near Swami, and I realized Swami was distributing watches to students.

I received from Swami’s hands a watch and I wondered at the greatness of Swami as to how he would not let me go out with any sense of disappointment. I gave him the letter. I had written in the letter “Swami, I want you, Please always be with me”. I prayed and spoke to Swami the very same words and he replied back “I will”. These two words still echo in my mind and have been the pillar of support during my highs and lows.

I felt life had come a full circle. I had experienced Love in action. I realized God is love and finally the meaning dawned upon me “To know God is not just to Love God as a singular person or a symbol but Love in itself becomes a reward devoid of any expectations”

(Arun K is s tudent of Swami who graduated from Prashanthi Nilayam with an MBA in 2007. He also has a bachelors in Electronics and Communication Engineering from SASTRA university.  He has worked in reputed organizations like KPMG, Ericcson and Cognizant. He is an eloquent speaker with a passion for helping the needy. In this article , Arun shares his experience as a student in Parthi which helped him to understand an important facet of Swami’s divine love.)